Published in 2000, this novella feels like a powerful piece of psychological writing, a confession of sorts, as Ernaux takes us back to her student days in Rouen when she had an illegal abortion.
Ernaux eludes to the fact that she’s finally ready go talk, that she needs to do this for herself and others. You really feel that she’s trying to paint an accurate picture of how experiences like this go down and how they affect people.
It’s 1963 and contraception isn’t available, abortions are clandestine, and “girls with prospects” are expected to conform to confusing sexual norms. Ernaux finds herself “in trouble” and a torturous and traumatic series of events unfolds. What I admire about Ernaux is her strength and determination: she rarely wavers and knows instinctively what she wants, what is right. There are complex emotions and feelings of despair and disconnect, but there’s also very little shame. Ernaux feels strongly that an abortion is her right, and she’s deft at exposing society’s hypocrisies.
This book follows Ernaux’s thinking closely throughout, also reflecting how this event and its trauma have followed her in her life. The aftershocks are profound.
It was made into a film in 2021, which I’d love to see.
One word: tense.
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